#30DaySongChallenge - Day 12 - A song from a “band” you hate
Regular readers will notice that I’ve specifically put the word “band” in parenthesis….
To me, a band is a collective of musicians playing instruments. Nothing more, nothing less. That’s what a band is. Look it up in the dictionary if you like - I’m sure the Oxford English Dictionary does not define a band as “Four - or Five, depending on how large Robbie’s ego is this month - singers/dancers”.
A band can be ANYTHING you want it to be - guitar/bass/drums (worked for The Beatles), a studio project (programmers/vocalists - worked for Kraftwerk) - but the key, defining characteristic to me, is that a band involves musicians. That’s right. Musicians. People with enough talent to be able to pick out a few chords on a guitar or on keyboards, whatever, it matters little. A band involves musicians, writers and talent.
It is with great amusement that because Jason Orange, the “hippy-ish one”, can play a few chords on the guitar, that Take That decide to perform as a “band” here - Mark Owen’s words of “Are you ready to rock and roll?” clearly indicate a total lack of understanding or respect of the subject matter.
I’ve never been one to deify Cobain - love his writing, love Dave Grohl - but they’re not “my favourite band EVER”. They’re not. When Nirvana first broke through my mate Darren, who played drums in my band in Nottingham, his band SUPPORTED Nirvana! Six degrees? Maybe?
Meanwhile, the audience lap up this sterilised presentation of “Teenage rebellion”…..
You only have to witness this once to realise it is literally one of the most appalling examples of pop-cultural appropriation/sterilisation that has ever been committed.
It’s fucking awful.
In every sense of the word.
Now, I know that this is where me and Grahame, and Pet Shop Boys, fall out a bit…. Barlow HAS written a few decent pop tunes - primarily from their first album - “Once You’ve Tasted Love” is a great pop song - however, over recent years, Barlow’s ascension to “National Treasure” status - through the means of “reality television” and charitable works - has become ever more nauseating.
His support for the Tory party and his obsequience around all things “Royal” elevate him ever higher in to the list of people I could cheerfully punch in the face. It was a natural transition that the talentless one should transition to primetime Saturday Night ITV.
He has the vocal prowess of an asthmatic beagle undergoing clinical trials for cigarette smoking - and whilst Agnetha (Her Royal Highness) may have decided to record new work under his tutelage (Why? WHY!? WHY?????!) - Barlow’s omniscient presence at a karaoke night, happening now, near you, makes me feel sick to the pit of my stomach. Characterless Commuter Entertainment.
Remember buying Gary’s first solo “outing” after “The That” split up? Open Road? Anyone? Sold by the briefcase-full that one…..
I promised myself I wouldn’t use the “C” word within this little chart I’m doing, but seriously, he’s a C*nt.
With a Capital C.
He is the Mother’s Day/Asda Charts of Music - so distanced from music itself, he is a parody of what we would commonly regard as a “songwriter”.
So, I present to you, a song from a “Band” I hate.
Take Fucking That, doing Nirvana. Seriously.
Listen to it. It’s abhorrent.
And they all look so irritatingly pleased with themselves - as one would, when charging £70 a ticket. These fuckers are laughing all the way to the bank.
As St Etienne so rightly said, “People Get Real”.
This, is simply, fucking horrible.
I couldn’t get bored of ramming rusty 8” nails in to Barlow’s skull, through the eye sockets.